Codependency
Parents and Adult Children: Change the Dynamic, Deepen the Bond
As children grow into adults, the dynamics of the parent-child relationship evolve. Navigating this transition can be challenging for both parents and adult children, especially as expectations, responsibilities, and life stages shift. However, improving this relationship is possible with open communication, empathy, and respect. Here are some practical tips to help strengthen the bond between…
Read MoreWhy It’s So Hard to Ask for Help and What to Do About It
A friend of mine who was preparing for surgery reached out and asked her friends for support. While I was visiting during her recovery, she expressed how difficult it had been to ask for help and how she was trying to stay mindfully aware of how difficult it was to ask for and accept help…
Read MoreTaking Responsibility in a Codependent Relationship
You know the worst thing about living alone? When you misplace something, you have no one to blame but yourself. I was looking for my headphones the other day. I was frustrated that I couldn’t find a single pair and more frustrated I had no one to blame but me! That got me thinking about…
Read MoreThe Crucial Role of Self-Care During the Stressful Holiday Season
The holiday season, with its twinkling lights, festive decorations, and joyful gatherings, often paints a picture of warmth and merriment. However, beneath the surface of this seemingly idyllic scene lies a reality that many experience—the stress and chaos that accompany the holidays. Amidst the hustle and bustle of shopping, planning, and socializing, it becomes imperative…
Read MoreAre You Helping or Enabling?
You are a caring and loving person. You have a deep-rooted desire to help and support your loved ones. However, paradoxically, sometimes helping can lead to unintended consequences that ultimately cause harm to the very people you intend to help. Then help becomes enabling. The Hazeldon foundation defines enabling as, “doing for a loved one…
Read MoreBoundary Setting – How Do I Say No and Mean It?
Saying “no” can sometimes be challenging and evoke feelings of guilt or discomfort. However, setting boundaries and learning to say “no” when necessary is essential for your well-being and personal growth and to have healthy relationships. In her book, Dare to Lead, Brene Brown lists boundary setting as one of the key elements for building…
Read MoreAre You Caught in a Drama Triangle?
When we continue to enable dysfunctional behavior, we fall prey to the Drama Triangle. Developed by Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UC, San Francisco Stephen Karman, the Drama Triangle consists of three roles, Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor. While you might see yourself and your loved ones as a specific role, in truth, each person…
Read MoreStop Repeating the Same Mistakes of Enabling Bad Behavior
Have you ever become frustrated because you find yourself in the same (or similar) predicament over and over with a loved one who will not change? How many times do you realize, often too late, that as careful as you thought you were being, you made choices that led you down the same old path…
Read MoreWhen Helping Hurts – Enabling the Addiction of Your Child
When I was a beginning therapist and working in community mental health, I witnessed an example of what happens when families fall victim to enabling the addiction of their children. One of our services to the community was to help complete the paperwork for involuntarily hospitalization for a loved one’s treatment. Two families came in…
Read MoreHelping Our Children Leave the Nest – Parenting Adult Children
I recently read an article about Bald Eagles. The most interesting part of the article was how they raise their young and how their young become independent. Baby eagles remain in the nest for about 12 weeks, with the parent eagles bringing them food. During this time, eaglets gain a pound every few days until…
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