Taking Responsibility in a Codependent Relationship

You know the worst thing about living alone? When you misplace something, you have no one to blame but yourself. I was looking for my headphones the other day. I was frustrated that I couldn’t find a single pair and more frustrated I had no one to blame but me! That got me thinking about…

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Are You Helping or Enabling?

You are a caring and loving person. You have a deep-rooted desire to help and support your loved ones. However, paradoxically, sometimes helping can lead to unintended consequences that ultimately cause harm to the very people you intend to help. Then help becomes enabling. The Hazeldon foundation defines enabling as, “doing for a loved one…

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Boundary Setting – How Do I Say No and Mean It?

Saying “no” can sometimes be challenging and evoke feelings of guilt or discomfort. However, setting boundaries and learning to say “no” when necessary is essential for your well-being and personal growth and to have healthy relationships. In her book, Dare to Lead, Brene Brown lists boundary setting as one of the key elements for building…

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Are You Caught in a Drama Triangle?

When we continue to enable dysfunctional behavior, we fall prey to the Drama Triangle. Developed by Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UC, San Francisco Stephen Karman, the Drama Triangle consists of three roles, Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor. While you might see yourself and your loved ones as a specific role, in truth, each person…

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Effective Communication – Responding to Criticism

Whether talking to your spouse, boss, a friend, or the clerk in the check-out line, conversations can become difficult and sometimes that difficulty is because of your actions. Sometimes we have to hear critical feedback from others. Responding to criticism can be difficult but it’s an opportunity to learn and grow, especially if  you approach…

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When Helping Hurts – Enabling the Addiction of Your Child

When I was a beginning therapist and working in community mental health, I witnessed an example of what happens when families fall victim to enabling the addiction of their children. One of our services to the community was to help complete the paperwork for involuntarily hospitalization for a loved one’s treatment. Two families came in…

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Play to Help Improve your Mood

Ever wonder what your therapists do when you’re not around? This day, I caught them playing! And as the head of the practice, I wholeheartedly support that! Why, you ask? Because play is an important part of good mental health!   Benefits of Play on Mental Wellness Burns Off Stress. Dot-com companies have known for…

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Keeping Cool During a Child’s Tantrums

Tantrums can be so frustrating. It feels like your child is crying and screaming about something so unimportant. You may find it hard to keep your cool when you are so annoyed. Why won’t your kid be reasonable so you can both move on with your day? What can you do to help tantrums become…

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Improving Your Relationship with the 7 Habits

During the 90’s the book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, became a big hit, because the habits worked. They worked so successfully that Covery applied them to improving our relationships and our personal lives. This article summarizes the steps to improving your relationship using The Seven Habits of Highly Effective…

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