Taking Responsibility in a Codependent Relationship

You know the worst thing about living alone? When you misplace something, you have no one to blame but yourself. I was looking for my headphones the other day. I was frustrated that I couldn’t find a single pair and more frustrated I had no one to blame but me! That got me thinking about…

Read More

Are You Helping or Enabling?

You are a caring and loving person. You have a deep-rooted desire to help and support your loved ones. However, paradoxically, sometimes helping can lead to unintended consequences that ultimately cause harm to the very people you intend to help. Then help becomes enabling. The Hazeldon foundation defines enabling as, “doing for a loved one…

Read More

Stop Repeating the Same Mistakes of Enabling Bad Behavior

Have you ever become frustrated because you find yourself in the same (or similar) predicament over and over with a loved one who will not change? How many times do you realize, often too late, that as careful as you thought you were being, you made choices that led you down the same old path…

Read More

When Helping Hurts – Enabling the Addiction of Your Child

When I was a beginning therapist and working in community mental health, I witnessed an example of what happens when families fall victim to enabling the addiction of their children. One of our services to the community was to help complete the paperwork for involuntarily hospitalization for a loved one’s treatment. Two families came in…

Read More